In any relationship, there will be bumps, it’s very common to have minor disagreements within your relationship every now and then. However, there are certain red flags to look out for in a relationship. Ignoring the red flags early on could lead to severe repercussions as the relationship persists. So, it’s important to be aware of what some of those red flags may be, and if you notice any in your relationship.
1.Your partner describes all their exes as “insane”
If your partner refers to every single ex they have ever had as insane or crazy, that is a huge red flag. Most people will have one or two exes who definitely were not the greatest, but if every single ex they have ever had was “crazy”, they might be the biggest problem in those relationships. So, if your current partner starts rambling on about all their crazy, bitter, insane exes, you might want to think twice before you continue to foster this relationship.
2.They gaslight you
If your partner constantly makes you feel like your opinions, thoughts, and concerns don’t matter, and then calls you crazy or accuses you of having an overactive imagination; your partner is gaslighting you. Gaslighting is a very common form of emotional abuse and manipulation, it makes the victim feel as if they are losing their mind. Gaslighting is a huge red flag in any relationship to be on the lookout for.
3.They don’t respect your boundaries
If you have made it clear that certain things upset you, and they continue to do those things anyways, that is a major red flag you should never ignore. Someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries does not respect you as a person and therefore has no place in your life. Setting boundaries and ensuring those boundaries are respected within a relationship is singlehandedly one of the most important things to a healthy and fulfilling relationship, if the boundaries are constantly overstepped, the relationship is not worth salvaging.
4.They are financially abusive
If your partner controls the finances and doesn’t include you in big financial decisions, or refuses to let you get a job, that is another red flag you should never ignore. Financial abuse is an extremely controlling method of abuse and can lead to extreme turmoil within a relationship. If you have continuously talked with your partner about your concerns, and they downplay your worries, you should consider removing yourself from the situation.
5.They love-bomb you after a fight
Love-bombing is whenever someone showers you with gifts and affection, in order to gain their desired outcome. If you just got into an argument with your partner where they were extremely mean and abusive, and their response is to buy you an expensive gift and expect you to be happy again, that is a huge red flag. Love-bombing is another example of financial abuse.
6. Your partner is narcissistic
Narcissistic people have an inflated sense of self and feel as if they are the most important person in the world. Narcissistic people do not care about anyone but themselves. If you have tried time and time again to establish communication and your partner makes excuses for their actions and blames you, you are dealing with a narcissist. It is a very common red flag for your partner to exhibit narcissistic tendencies.
7.They don’t trust you
If you have given your partner absolutely no reason to not trust you, but they still don’t trust you and constantly accuse you of things you have not done, that is a major red flag. It is common for people with traumatic pasts to have trust issues, but the key factor is discussing these things to avoid future conflict, if your partner is unwilling that is a red flag.
8.They are rude to everyone
If your partner is rude to their friends, parents, or people working in customer service; that is another red flag that shouldn’t be ignored. If your partner is rude to those people, they will not treat you any better. If your partner reacts negatively when called out about these toxic behaviors, that is another red flag to be aware of.
9.They put you down
If your partner is constantly putting you down, even in a joking matter, it is a red flag and you should not ignore it. If your partner makes you feel sad, depressed, or worthless and then claims “oh it was a joke, you’re way too sensitive” that is a major red flag and also gaslighting. You should never ignore this type of abusive, controlling, manipulative behavior.
10.They make you fearful or scared
If your partner has angry outbursts that leave you feeling scared, fearful, or helpless, it is a major red flag and you should consider trying to leave that situation before it escalates further. If your partner does this and is unwilling to change, they likely never will. You deserve to live a life free of stress and anxiety, especially with your partner.
If you’ve noticed any of the above red flags mentioned in your relationship, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. Sometimes, leaving an abusive or toxic relationship can be hard, even impossible. However, you are not alone, there are many resources out there for people who are scared of retaliation whenever they are leaving a relationship that no longer serves them.
With the proper support system, you will be able to leave the toxic relationship behind and be able to utilize the red flags you learned to recognize in new situations. Once you are in a happy, healthy, and safe environment, free of the partner who constantly made you feel terrible, you will realize how much better off you are. Just remember, it is never your fault if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, narcissists and abusers are great at what they do. With the right tools, you will be able to protect yourself from these types of toxic relationships in the future.